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Suya, the Grim Reaper and I

suya-by-jide-odukoya

The day the Grim Reaper comes for my soul, he’s very like­ly gonna bait his trap with food.

So the oth­er day, we had Suya for din­ner.

The fol­low­ing morn­ing I thought it would be a good idea to have the left­overs for brunch.

Now, when I eat, I gob­ble. I bare­ly give myself enough time to chew prop­er­ly before send­ing the food on its jour­ney down to make way for anoth­er mouth­ful.

So I’m gob­bling up bite after bite of hot, pep­pery suya when, sud­den­ly, I get one stuck in my throat.

I’m chok­ing. Cough­ing and splut­ter­ing and retch­ing and thump­ing and just… chok­ing.

I’m not usu­al­ly one to pan­ic when in dan­ger, but this time, my heart begins to fib­ril­late. I’m gasp­ing for air, my whole life flash­es before my eyes, I come to the real­iza­tion that I’m about to become an episode on “1000 Ways To Die”.

suya-by-amanda

Yet, as the dark­ness clos­es in, one for­lorn thought fil­ters through.

So who’s now going to fin­ish the remain­ing Suya?”

This proves to be the moti­va­tion I need to give myself one final thump and dis­lodge the lump from my throat, chew it prop­er­ly and swal­low it again, sav­ing myself from cer­tain death.

I then pro­ceed to savor the remain­ing pieces.

And thus, I lived to eat anoth­er day… Lol!

*A true sto­ry by Ari­no­la Adesina

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